Ellen wandered the mall aimlessly. She didn't know why she had decided to go out. Honestly, she didn't feel like doing much of anything. Things were still tense between her and Lawson, and she just felt beaten down. She read somewhere shopping could help life the spirits, so she decided to give it a shot. Ellen doubted it would do anything. But she'd give anything to be out of that house. Lately she felt like she was just a shade of herself, and she was terrified she'd never get back to her old self. She didn't know if she could live with who she was now. But she had no idea how to change it.
Everything seemed so dark to her lately. She felt like such a cynic. Everything she used to love, she found fault in. Shopping hadn't really helped that either. All her favorite stores did nothing for her, and she didn't buy a single thing. That wasn't really a bad thing because she didn't need anything, but she didn't even have the slightest desire for anything in the stores.
She was pretty close to calling it quits, so she made her way towards the exit. On her way out, though, she ran into possibly the last person she wanted to run into on Earth. Her sister. She hadn't seen Ena since that failure of a get together she held earlier this year. The two were distant and were continuing to drift apart. Awkwardly, she approached her younger sister. "Hey," she said softly. "I haven't seen you around. How are things?" she asked.
A familiar voice. Ena turned around and had to keep herself from frowning when she saw her older sister. However, the look in her sister's eyes told Ena immediately that something was wrong. Their was a sadness there, a dullness or darkness that Ena thought she could take advantage of. Time to play the part of loving younger sister. All of these thoughts happened in less than a second, giving Ena enough time to feign surprise and hug her. "Ellen! So good to see you! I'm so sorry I haven't called since that dinner… I was just so embarrassed at how my husband and son acted," she said. "I've missed you. Uh-oh. Something's wrong. I can see it all over your face. What's happened? Come on, let's go get a coffee." She placed her hands on her sister's shoulders and practically pushed her to the cafeteria.
When she was sure Ellen couldn't see since Ena was behind her, she rolled her eyes. What on Earth was her sister wearing? She never had a sense of style. It was always Ena who was giving Ellen fashion advice so she wouldn't embarrass herself at parties. It was a thankless job, really. And honestly it didn't matter much because all of the guys were too intimidated by Ellen's confidence and big head. The boys Ena dated always told her that her sister was stuck-up, and she knew they were right.
But she'd learned her lesson about trying to help Ellen change. Obviously she didn't want to and she wanted to stay stuck in her ways.
Post by ELLEN ELIZABETH WATSON on Jan 3, 2014 0:55:58 GMT -5
The distance Ellen put between Ena and her had been for her baby sister's own good. She didn't want Ena to end up like her: screwed up. There was always the favoritism between the sisters. Their mother constantly bet on Ellen's future, and there was nothing the older sibling could do about it. She could only watch as Ena got the short end of the stick over and over again. It was painful for her to watch that, and she felt responsible for it. God how she felt responsible for it. She still felt responsible. She knew someday she'd have to forgive herself, but that day was far from now.
She maintained her fake smile as Ena apologized just as fake as her smile. Ellen didn't even really care if her sister was truly sorry at this point or not. She was too tired to care. "It's fine," she said. Too much had gone on in her life following that disaster meal. Honestly, she hadn't even noticed her sister neglected to call. "You were busy. I had a lot going on anyway."
Ellen narrowed her brows when Ena noticed something was wrong. How was that even possible? Was she so out of it, she couldn't even mask her emotions properly? "Really, that's not necessary," she said. But her sister was pushing her towards Starbucks. She let out a sigh and just gave in. When she got to the counter, she ordered herself a small cup of coffee before sitting across from her sister.
She took a sip of her coffee and shook her head. "You don't need to do this," she said. "I haven't exactly been the best big sister over the years," she admitted. "So you aren't exactly obligated to listen to my problems," she said before letting out a sigh. "I just really messed up," she looked down at her coffee, not sure if she wanted to say anymore. "I had a miscarriage," she whispered, tears starting to gather in her eyes.
ELLEN ELIZABETH WATSON: That sounds familiar. I used to be that way. I still am, but I've learned to let go a little.
Sept 18, 2013 22:33:39 GMT -5
EMMA GRACE DANVERS (GOODMAN): Alec is too good to me, how did I deserve him. I'm such a perfectionist that I am afraid to screw up
Sept 18, 2013 22:30:10 GMT -5
ELLEN ELIZABETH WATSON: Everyone screws up. I've screwed up so many times I can't even keep track, but you just have to pick yourself up and learn to forgive yourself which can be the hardest thing to do
Sept 18, 2013 22:28:38 GMT -5
EMMA GRACE DANVERS (GOODMAN): Thank you so much Ellen. I know Alec is there to encourage me, but sometimes I feel he's put me on this great mother pedestal. I'm afraid of screwing up.
Sept 18, 2013 22:25:29 GMT -5
ELLEN ELIZABETH WATSON: I wouldn't worry too much Emma. You're very maternal, something I never was, and I managed to do it alone. If you ever need to talk about parenting, I'm always here
Sept 18, 2013 22:10:52 GMT -5
EMMA GRACE DANVERS (GOODMAN): I'm just worried about being a good mother. Since my own mother is no longer here to advice me. I just want to do her proud *nervous look*
Sept 18, 2013 22:09:25 GMT -5
EMMA GRACE DANVERS (GOODMAN): well I think Alec will be worried when it comes to that age. He'll probably buy a shotgun and ward off any boy who comes a courting.
Sept 18, 2013 22:08:32 GMT -5
ELLEN ELIZABETH WATSON: -laughs- you don't have to worry about that for a while. I told Victoria when she was going into sixth grade, but I think it also depends on the child
Sept 18, 2013 22:07:23 GMT -5