Post by ELLEN ELIZABETH WATSON on Sept 29, 2013 16:22:23 GMT -5
wearing
Ellen had never felt so tired before in her life. Work was starting to suffocate her. The dean had decided it would be absolutely hilarious to tell her she was teaching college classes right before school started. She had to scramble to get her lesson plans done. She had gone to bed at three in the morning every night during the last week of summer so she could figure out what the hell she was doing. It wasn't that teaching college government and AP World History along with every other bloody course she was teaching wasn't impossible, she just hadn't done it in a while. And it cut down on her spare time. In fact, she only had lunch and one free period during the day now. It didn't look bad at first, but after the first week of school, the woman realized that it was Living Hell.
She hadn't really had any time with her kids or Lawson since school started, and she felt like she was drowning. Her new schedule made her personal life impossible, and she didn't really like that. After discovering her son had suicidal tendencies, Ellen really worried that her lack of presence in his life would make him worse. But there really wasn't anything she could do about it. She had to work to put food on the table. She also feared she was losing touch with Lawson. They hadn't made love in weeks. They hadn't touched in weeks. Whenever they tried to have a moment together, they failed to get very far. Plus she was getting up at 5:30 everyday and got about three or four hours of sleep a night.
It wasn't just the fact she was staying up late to work on lesson plans, she was also having trouble sleeping because of Gabriel. Their encounter at the hospital and then school made her feel faint. Was he really back? If he was, there were so many different thought running through her mind. Would he try to force his way back into her life? Would he take her kids from her? Those questions kept her from being able to sleep. The connection she had felt when they were close was undeniable, and she hated herself for it. She wasn't supposed to want him after all these years. Not after she had someone like Lawson who loved her unconditionally and would continue to love her unconditionally. That was why she hadn't told Law. She didn't want him to worry like she was worrying.
Her hands were shaking from her anxiety as she curled up in her throw blanket on the couch. She wasn't feeling well at all, and she was ready to collapse from exhaustion. She hadn't eaten in days and she was beginning to feel sick from it. It was Saturday and she didn't feel like going out. Actually, she had decided to stay home. She was dressed in her Yale Sweatshirt and a pair of jeans because she just didn't feel like wearing anything else. Elle had even neglected to put any makeup on. But even as she laid on the couch, in her sweatshirt, curled up in her blanket, she couldn't rest. It was impossible. Soon her hands were shaking and then her body was. She closed her eyes and waited for the spell to pass then she stood up and slowly walked into the kitchen to read over the new textbook she had to use for AP World History. As her eyes skimmed the pages, she felt a headache start, so she just stared blankly at the page.