Post by HARPER KATHLEEN LEWIS on Jul 3, 2013 22:37:51 GMT -5
Harper and Sam had agreed to take a break from allowing each other to spend time together promptly after suspicions began to rise around them. At first Harper had thought it would have been easy to walk away like nothing had ever happened -- just like they'd always talked about doing eventually, right? True to form, all good things would eventually find their way to an end, but she hadn't really been prepared for the empty space that filled her chest, leaving so little room for anything else. Even when she would wake in the middle of the night and her hand would meet with Kennedy's warm skin beneath the sheets, it was impossible to ignore the emotions that would sneak up on her in the soundless dark.
They hadn't spoken in months, but the void wasn't getting smaller. It wasn't shrinking over time. Harper loved Kennedy with everything she had, but something deep within her bones craved Sam. It was a draw and pull too strong to ignore, too strong to swallow down. At the height of all her loneliness, Harper found herself curled up against her bed's headboard and sobbing into her knees. She and Kennedy hadn't seen eye-to-eye about something and tempers had flared. There was a brutal exchange of words followed by a night alone, and in dreams she had seen Sam's face. It was another night of sobbing with reckless abandon, another night of Autumn comforting her until Harper exhausted herself to sleep once again. The pushing on, the pretending, was slowly chipping away at the walls Harper had built up to protect herself from wanting -- no, needing -- something she could never have.
Now, as the reality of what she was doing came full circle, Harper snapped back into the present. She'd sent off a text to Sam only a few minutes before asking her to come meet her at the cafe. Part of her was hoping that by being as impromptu as possible, Sam might somehow be unavailable to come meet her and she wouldn't have to face the very person she was trying to hard to move on from. Or maybe she simply wouldn't want to see her. Maybe she'd completely ignore the text, delete it from her phone and eventually her mind. A kick in the face like that would surely help her to move past all of this, right? No, probably not. She'd probably just try harder. And in the back of her mind, she knew Sam wouldn't just ignore her. Sam wasn't that type of person. That's what you like about her, remember?
Flashbacks of all the nights they'd spent together caused her to bite her lip and shift uneasily in her seat. What exactly would happen when she finally looked into those beautiful green-gray eyes of hers again, anyway? What exactly did she expect to accomplish? The true answer was simple. Nothing. She didn't want to accomplish anything from all of this. She just wanted to see her again, wanted to here her voice, wanted to hear that laugh and watch the way her eyes would light up at the smallest things. Wanted to kiss her, taste her on her tongue...No, stop. Harper had only just turned her eyes out over the expanse of the rolling blue ocean when a waitress came by to ask her for her order. Harper pretended she didn't hear her, and the moment the woman walked away, she allowed herself to slip back into her memories.