Post by MARCUS ANTHONY ANDREWS on Sept 21, 2013 18:24:50 GMT -5
Marcus had never been so happy to be going home in his entire life. Marcus unlocked the door and he walked upstairs to his room, after grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. His mom still had his iPod so he had to listen to his music through his computer. Marcus was feeling extremely suffocated. The small cuts he did today in school didn't really help him at all. And once Lawson found out, all hell was probably going to break loose when his mom and Lawson got home. He knew that Lawson can't keep anything from his mom, especially something like this. Cutting was a serious thing and he knew that his mom didn't know. Well at least for now. Maybe he would be lucky. Maybe Lawson wouldn't tell his mom. Maybe it would be just between the two of them.
Marcus opened his bedroom door and shut it behind him. He figured he had a good hour or so before his mom got home. He took out his school work and he placed it on his desk. Marcus turned on his computer, which booted up quickly and opened up his iTunes. He clicked on a playlist of hard rock and metal songs. He put the playlist on shuffle. He grabbed his razor from his pocket and he took off his sweatshirt and his t-shirt. Why bother having it on when it was just him at home. Marcus was skinny, but he had a body. In his room, he liked to work out. He mainly did pushups and sit ups when he wasn't doing school work, playing video games or causing self harm to himself.
Hollywood Undead's song "Hear Me Now" came on and he pressed repeat. He absolutely loved this song. It was such a great song, especially when he was angry. Marcus looked at his arms as the music started to play. He was deciding which arm to start first. He lifted the blade and made the first cut. He was cutting for the image of them being the perfect family. They weren't perfect. They were nowhere near perfect. He was tired of pretending to be perfect whenever his grandparents and aunt came over. He was acting like someone he wasn't. He made another cut a little deeper for everything that happened today. He felt the tears gather in his eyes. If only his mom could see him now. Crying. She'd probably just tell him to knock it off, like she did earlier. Growing up, he felt like he didn't have a mom. His mom was cold and his mom didn't show much affection when it came to him and his sisters, but more so him. He made another cut for that. He never felt what it was like to feel loved by a parent. He never felt what it was like to get a warm, welcoming hug from his mom.