Post by SAMANTHA IRIS CASSIDY on Oct 13, 2013 2:20:59 GMT -5
Every time I close my eyes
Harper's sharp words honestly caught Sam off guard. Of course she wasn't expecting her to be happy about what was said, how could she be? How could this girl that had been wrapped around Sam's finger for so long be happy, or even okay after being told she wasn't good enough -- in short. Granted, those weren't the exact words chosen by Samantha, it could only be assumed that that was what she meant. Or at the the very least, she was sure that was how Harper had taken it. Once the darker haired girl pushed off the couch, Sam wrapped herself tightly in the blanket that once held the form of both girls. All she could do was watch as she slowly made her way to the window, Sam sighing as she did so.
"No, Harper. I know that's not ideally how things work, I get that. I do -- but sometimes you just have to keep working at it. I know Ryker isn't perfect. I know Kennedy isn't. Neither are you or I. We're all flawed, but that's what makes us all work. We can't be perfectly put together, it just doesn't work that way....And you know, maybe you aren't obligated to be in love with the same person for your whole life...but who's to say I don't want to be? Who can tell me that? Whose right is it, besides mine?" Tears were welling in Sam's eyes by this point. She hadn't wanted all of this to go down, she hadn't wanted Harper to second guess this relationship. Sam was happy. Harper was happy. They both needed each other to help get over the Armitage's.
With the words still coming out as sharp as ever, Sam could only look to Harper. The anger was fueling her fire rapidly, and it was only getting worse from where it had started. By this time, Sam had heard enough of the bullshit, and stood up. Yet, every time she tried to speak, she was interrupted. Instead of cutting Harper off, though, Sam let her finish her rant, and just stood wrapped in the blanket, waiting for her moment to speak up and stand up for herself. "No. I'm not stupid. But again, Harper, I don't know if Ry will come back or not...but I want to have at least some faith in it. I want to believe that she didn't stop loving because my ex boyfriend raped me and got me pregnant. I want to believe she just stopped at her own accord...but I can't speak for her. I don't know what her reasoning's are! And that's really what I want. I want to know why...."
Her words were barely audible to herself, and she was sure Harper was having a hard time understanding her as well. But yet again, like clock-work, Harper took her digs. This time, it hurt. And honestly, Sam was ready to find a gun and blow her head off. By this point she was sure she had lost everything and anything she had worked for. The list just kept compiling. "Harper...I told you. I love you in a completely different way than I love her. You and I...we're one in the same, you know?! We've been through so much...and so much together. I haven't ever felt this way about someone, Harper. I haven't ever known what it was like to be loved back as much as I loved someone else. And you know, maybe that's a reason to give up on her -- but I can't. This whole thing with me and you, Harper...it wasn't a game. It wasn't a trial. I know that's why we got close. I know you fell for the person that was so damaged...I didn't know which way was up. I got so lost, Harper. And you found me through everything. YOU came to the rescue. I swear to God, I never meant for this to all blow up like this."
There wasn't much else Sam could say about it...Harper was done. She was utterly and completely done. With all the time the girls had spent together, she had learned when Harper had crossed the line, and there was no coming back. Still, she continued to try and talk to her. "I swear, hun, it was never just sex...or a rebound. I wouldn't be able to do that to you. Harper -- I knew from the second I spent more than a few hours with you at a time, that you were something special. You were different. But...if you want me to leave, I will."
With no fight, Sam started gathering her things. She wasn't able to do this anymore. Harper was really gone. At least for now. Maybe in the morning the girls could try again. But really, Sam wasn't sure what would happen overnight. Harper was known to do stupid things if she were to get overwhelmed, and Sam knew she could never live with herself if Harper did something -- in retaliation to something she, herself had done.
No more words were spoken...no more looks were given...all Sam could do was get her clothes, throw them on and head out the door. She didn't make it very far. Once she stepped foot out of the room, she threw her back against the wall and slid down it...sobbing. What have you done, Sam? What did you get yourself into?
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side.